MEMBER NEWS BY PETE RATTO
Business at the MMC is down this week, so we were moved back into the Commandant’s Room. No panicked e-mails from President Jill Hoffman this morning, so First Vice President Joel Panzer had to be content to blow Hugh Tuck’s little Barbie horn.
We had four guests this morning. All hosted by Patricia Fripp. Two were actually guests of our speaker Ann Mahony, but since guests can only be hosted by a member, our Chairperson of the Day had to step up. Patricia’s guests were frequent GGBC visitor Lynn Fraley and Dana Walsh of Dana Walsh Design. Where is Dana Walsh Design located? Why at 2 Henry Adams Street in Showplace Square. The same building where Chuck Mills’ showroom is located. I hope Dana joins the GGBC. If Chuckles isn’t here I know I’ll still be able to get a ride to my office after breakfast. Ann’s two guests were Paul Mowry, the Pastor of the Sausalito Presbyterian Church and the Chaplin for the Sausalito PD, and Jim Carrillo, Ann’s videographer who came all the way from Morgan Hill.
One excuse requested for this morning; not via e-mail or text, from Alex King for Mike Hanlon.
One excuse requested for the future; Phil Moscone will be the retired part of semi-retired for next week, so he’s going to sleep in.
One excuse not needed due to proper planning for any emergency; Les Andersen and John McKnight were headed up the Waldo Grade this morning when the donated car Les was driving overheated. But Les had two gallons of water in the trunk. When you’re the chauffer for the Master of Disaster, you better be prepared for any contingency.
Who is the most feared member of the GGBC? Without question it’s Patricia Fripp. We don’t see Larry Jacobson or Jonathan Stone for months, but one call from Fripp and they’re here. Larry did say he’s been working on his new DVD, Navigating Leadership for Entrepreneurs and that’s been taking a lot of his time. Larry also says he’ll be getting a ready made family on July 1st as his nephew will be coming to live with him. Jonathan didn’t have an excuse. Rickey Wilson says the GGBC should enlist Fripp to make robo calls to our non-attending members.
Members that have returned; John Mathers is back from Japan. John is happy to be with us again for breakfast, because we all speak English. John reports the Japanese are worried about their falling birth rate. By 2090 their population will be down by half. So, the Japanese are conducting a study. They should have just given the money to Alan Garber who has a very simple solution. Have more sex.
Harvey’s Mom is doing well enough for him to slip back to breakfast. On his way in this morning Harvey was listening to Mellissa Griffin who reported that Leland Yee almost made the runoff for Secretary of State. Leland received just under 300K votes. I wonder if Shrimp Boy would get that many votes?
Speaking of elections, Hugh Tuck’s nephew Marshall Tuck finished second in the race for State Superintendent of Public Instruction. Now Marshall will go mano a mano with incumbent Tom Torlakson. All of Torlakson’s negative advertising has backfired, which should give Marshall a good chance for an upset.
John Bell made it for two weeks in a row.
Back from riding the High Roller Ferris Wheel, the world’s highest; in Las Vegas is Stan Ellexson. Stan says each car holds 40 riders and it takes a half-hour to make the complete revolution. Stan’s poem for this morning; The Chambermaid’s lament, I let him kiss me once, I let him kiss me twice, I know that I done wrong--but oh my Gawd he smelled so nice. Reg Young points out the world’s highest water slide just opened in Kansas City.
Betty Taisch got a new car. It’s a BMW, just like her last one. Betty is also disappointed that Proposition B didn’t pass. Who’s more disappointed and sadder than Betty? S F Port Director Monique Moyer who’s potential development revenue has dried up faster than an irrigation ditch in Fresno.
Asking for a show of hands this morning; Steve Shain. Why? GGBC Golf tournament is in three weeks on Wednesday the 25th. How much? Steve didn’t say.
J. J. Panzer is happy again this morning. All three units in his newly renovated building are under contract. J. J. was so happy in fact, he decided to tell a joke. How many lawyers does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thick you slice them.
We hit the jackpot of jokes this morning. In addition to J. J.’s there were three more.
Papa Joel’s; a guy walks into a drug store and asks for a gross of condoms. The pharmacist obliges. Next day the guy comes back and says “there were only 143”. The pharmacist replies, “sorry I ruined your weekend.”
John McKnight’s; a panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. The panda eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The panda stands up to go and the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter dead, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!” The panda replies "hey man, I'm a panda, look it up!” The manager opens his dictionary and reads: “Panda: a tree-dwelling mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
Hugh Tuck also told a joke, which he told at the GGBC board meeting on Tuesday too. It was just as bad on Wednesday as it was on Tuesday. So bad in fact, I don’t remember it.
This prompted Alan Garber to say “since there were no jokes this morning, I’ll refrain from telling one.”
Conversely, Marty Mijalski thought the jokes were so good he would only deliver some words of wisdom. “Nobody cares? Just miss a few payments”. I think Marty should have told a joke. While his KGB/mummy joke wasn’t better than McKnight’s entry, it certainly would hold its own against Joel’s, J. J.’s and Hugh’s.
Surprisingly, President Jill did not award Goldie the Chicken.
This week’s restaurant recommendation from Joanne Fazzino; Kitchen Story at 16th and Sanchez Streets. A great place for weekend brunch.
At bit of bad news mixed with some good news. Janet Von Doepp reported her friend and past GGBC speaker, magician Walt Anthony has broken his wrist. Needless to say, that means Walt can’t perform. While Walt is healing though, fellow magician David Facer is taking Walt’s place at the Magic Parlor, which is in the Chancellor Hotel at 433 Powell Street. The shows are still every Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8:00PM. If you mention the GGBC you’ll get your $40.00 ticket for $10.00.
Rich Corriea had another Terry Cowhey moment. Rich said he had nothing to say and then reconsidered. Rich says his years in the SFPD have given him an edge in delivering bad news. So, Rich told the membership our former member David Heller suffered a heart attack. But, we shouldn’t worry as David was texting while he was having the heart attack and is doing fine. At this point, Alex King grabbed his chest.
The attendance sheet scofflaws got a pass this morning as Hedy Kaveh was directing his anger at LAX. Seems LAX decided to kick TripTel out of their booth. You can still rent a cell phone from Hedy at SFO though.
A special events reminder from Joel Panzer; the joint meeting with the Lake Merritt and Berkeley Breakfast Clubs is on July 24th, a Thursday, at the Lake Merritt Hotel. Marty Lurie from KNBR will be the speaker. And, the GGBC’s annual Dick Polhi Memorial Bocce Ball Tournament will be on Saturday, August 2nd at the Marin Bocce Federation in San Rafael.
Reg Young, subbing for Mike Hanlon, didn’t have any birthdays this week. Although, our speaker Ann Mahony was having her birthday this week. But, Ann declined to wear one of our birthday hats. No birthday hat means no birthday song. I will wish a Happy Birthday to one of our old time members though, John Hurabiell, this past Monday. Knucklehead of the week; no actual knucklehead. This is more of a knucklehead situation. If you’re walking down the street in Oakland and you get shot or hit by a car, maybe Oakland PD will show up in fifteen minutes or so. Granted OPD has the highest number of service calls per officer in California, but that response time is double the state average. But, if you are a Black Crowned Night Heron chick that has fallen out of a tree due to a tree trimmer’s negligence, the OPD will be there in minutes. Also, reports of the tree trimmers feeding the chicks into a wood chipper; highly exaggerated. A tactic used to make the OPD and Animal Control respond faster.