PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR UPCOMING GGBC SPEAKERS
AUG 21st: Alfonso Montuori, CA Institute of Integral Studies
AUG 28th: Tom Smegal, Patent Law
SEP 4th: To be announced
SEP 11th: Nicole Schapiro, Human Capital Management Coach
THIS WEEK'S SPEAKERS: NEW KIDS CAGE MATCH TO THE DEATH!
Join us as we welcome our recent Breakfast Club recruits to a full contact cage fight to the death for GGBC Glory!
Please Hold...(I'm on the phone with Speaker's Chair, Joel Panzer) ...Oh, hello Joel...Uh huh...yes...uh huh...where did I get this information?...am I smoking something?...Uh no, Sir...Yes Sir...Ok Sir...Understood...I'll make the correction.
CORRECTION: There is no New Kids Cage fight, as previously reported. Instead, we'll be expecting them to prepare an entertaining presentation about their life...so we can decide who get's thrown to the Lions' den!!!
Please Hold...(I'm now on the phone with GGBC legal team President Harvey Elam and VP Jill Hoffman.)...Oh hello Mr. President and Mrs. Vice President...Uh huh...yes...uh huh...oh, I see...how would I like to feel the wrath of PETA, AARP and the local chapter of Weeblos handing me a lawsuit that'll make my head spin?...No Sir/Ma'am...just report the upcoming speakers and stick to the facts? Ok. My apologies... I assure you it was an honest error on my part....No, I have not lost my mind...Yes, Sir...Yes Ma'am...Will do.
CORRECTION: There will be no GGBC members, prospective nor otherwise, who will be at risk for placement in a cage nor placement in a den of Lions. This is a horrible, blatant fabrication from an overzealous, slick, marketing-type attempting to drive attendance to what is worthy group of GGBC upstarts deserving of your attention, who are here to have fun. Join us won't you?
And now...the News...
MEMBER NEWS BY PETE RATTO
Today MMC is hosting the annual commemorative luncheon in honor of the Battle of Guadalcanal. Since that’s always a well attended event, we were moved out of the Commandant’s Ballroom into the adjacent Regimental Room. Jorge did a good job in squeezing in the maximum number of seats. Sixty-two to be exact. That’s actually three more than we normally set up in the big rooms. It’s also twelve more that the posted capacity of the room. President Harvey again had to do without our Fire Truck Bell, but in the small room, President Harvey’s authoritative voice was more than sufficient to get the membership’s attention. Matter of fact, once President Harvey called the meeting to order, there was dead silence. That never happens in the bigger rooms. I thought I was in church.
Our attendance dropped a bit this week to only forty-three total. Forty-one members and two guests. Since our speaker was John Mathers, he gets counted only once. But, in the Regimental Room, forty-three looks like almost a full room. John also brought along some copies of his book, but didn’t announce the price.
This morning’s guests were; John’s daughter Nicole and our former member, Patti Mangan. Patti mentioned she was happy to see all our smiling faces. Patti’s attendance was prompted by President Harvey’s selected e-mails to members and former members that President Harvey thought would have an interest in John’s program. There may have been some confusion though, as President Harvey’s e-mails indicated John’s presentation was on oil & gas well scammers and the Bulletin said John would be speaking on Bolognese Sauce. President Harvey was right. No pasta with breakfast this morning. Only Ray Siotto and I were disappointed.
Les Andersen and Arlan Kertz were worried this morning, but the bananas finally arrived right at 7:30AM.
Not a single new excuse requested for this morning. I did receive an e-mail from the previously excused Patricia Fripp giving me an update on her whereabouts. This week Fripp is at the Ritz Carlton in Denver after what Fripp termed “an amazing appearance at the National Speakers Association in Philly”. Next week Fripp will be in Vegas mixing business with pleasure. Speaking during the day and seeing Celine, Willie Nelson and Lyle Lovett at night.
Two excuses were requested but not delivered during the meeting. New member, Alex Mozes (yes, now officially a member voted in by the Board yesterday morning) texted his sponsor, J. J. Panzer, during breakfast with what J. J. describes as a lame excuse. Upon further reflection, J. J. decided a lame excuse is better than no excuse at all, even though it's not a good way for a new member to start out his GGBC career by missing his first official meeting as a new member.
Our other non-delivered excuse was for Jill Hoffman. Jill was sucked into trial prep, since it looks like jury selection is going to occur on Monday. So, Jill dutifully e-mailed President Harvey, Marty Mijalski and Bert Hill asking them to request her excuse. Bert did respond that one of three, Larry, Moe or Curly, was sure to remember. Except all three Stooges failed to follow up.
President Harvey did mention that Tom Smegal is in Minnesota and Shawn Brown is vacationing on the Jersey coast. I am pretty sure both Tom and Shawn asked for excuses before they left town.
Surprisingly, not a single excuse was requested for next week.
Members that have returned; Betty Taisch is back from a salesmanship conference in San Diego. The keynote speaker was Harvey Mackay, the author of “Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive”. Betty says it’s a great book and recommends it highly. For those of you, like me, that want to read about sharks but have a short attention span, I recommend the comic strip “Sherman’s Lagoon” in the Chronicle.
Back after four days in St. Louis is Rickey Wilson. Rickey says downtown St. Louis looks beautiful. Only problem; half the buildings are empty.
Lots of complaints about the weather this morning. None from David Dissmeyer though.
Michael Mattis has a new girlfriend. After the second date, Mike still didn’t know her last name. Mike realized this could be a problem. But, by the third date, Mike finally got her full name. Daphne D. Light. I don’t know Mike, that sounds a bit like a porn star name. Not that I know anything about porn or any porn stars. And all those pictures saved on my computer? I’m doing research on the safe disposal of breast implants.
Trying to research your family history? Joel Panzer suggests you go into politics. Your opponents will do it all for you.
This morning Alan Garber was looking a bit disheveled. Or properly, more disheveled than usual. Wearing a bright orange polo shirt with his badge hanging backwards, we thought he was going to the Giants game. Nope, Garber is playing golf. Garber continues his world wide search for clean jokes, but didn’t need one this morning as Johnson You was sitting next to him.
Johnson’s joke of the day: a secretary invites her boss to dinner at her home. She tells her boss that her husband is out of town, to wait five minutes and then go upstairs to her bedroom. The boss strips off all his clothes and heads up. He opens the door and surprise; all his employees are there to wish him a Happy Birthday. I don’t know if Johnson’s English is getting better or I’m just getting better at understanding him, because I didn’t miss a word.
I don’t know if Marty Mijalski was intimidated by Johnson, but Marty started his introduction with; “a man walks into a bar”, and then quickly handed the mic to John McKnight.
Unfortunately for us, Stan Ellexson was not intimidated by Johnson and recited an extremely long joke. Whenever the membership starts snoring or catcalling “give ‘em a binder”, that means your joke is too long for the GGBC and too long for this column.
Now that wife Karen doesn’t need him anymore, Alex King returned to breakfast. After hearing Stan’s joke, Alex says the GGBC should pass a resolution outlawing the reading of jokes. All jokes must be memorized. Alex then delivered his joke about a husband and wife that run into the husband’s mistress. Even though the joke was recited from memory, it wasn’t any better than Stan’s.
Surprisingly, neither Stan nor Alex received a chicken.
Steve Shain spoke with our former member Jeanine Spencer again. Jeanine is looking for jokes. Steve is wondering why Jeanine would ask him, given the quality of jokes emanating from the GGBC lately.
Past President Hugh Tuck wants to know if any GGBC members realized that San Francisco has a Department of the Environment? Oh yeah, myself and Dan Negron know all about the DofE. If you live, or own a business, in San Francisco you probably realized your monthly charges from Recology have increased. While our costs are rising, a lot of the increase is due to not having enough garbage to offset the cost of recycling. So, now our residential accounts have to pay for recycling too. Dan says we’re getting more than 2,000 calls a day through our call center. If you have a question about your rates, Dan suggests you call me. That’s an error. If you want to register a complaint about your bill, call Rob DeMartini at 415-330-2942.
For two weeks in a row, Tom Jacobs didn’t even see a single Recology truck on his way to breakfast. Although Tom is preoccupied with 450 Sutter’s new garage entry system.
J.J.’s word of the day; Olfrygt (Viking Danish). The fear of a lack of ale. I am often Olfrygt. I just can’t say how I feel.
Bill Buchanan’s badge is still missing. Bill thinks it’s an inside job.
I’m not sure where Mike Hanlon was this morning, but Reg Young was here to handle the birthdays. Only one; Betty Taisch, yesterday. Betty was born on the same day as the bombing of Hiroshima.
I had the opportunity to attend a very special event this past Monday. At the invitation of Stan Ellexson, I headed up to Capp’s Corner for the monthly meeting of the Naval Order. One of the items on the agenda; the promotion ceremony of Matt Gabe to Captain. I know Matt still looks like he should be in the Sea Cadets, but this was the real deal. Pinning on the Captain’s bars and administering the Oath of Office was none other than Matt’s former Commanding Officer and former member of the GGBC, Kris Carlock. Matt was accompanied by his better half, Melissa and a number of GGBC members and former members were in attendance as well. In addition to myself and the aforementioned Stan Ellexson, we were joined by Sidney Mobell, Antonio White, Jaclyn Carpenter, Juan Garcia and Ray Truman. For you newer members wondering who the hell is Ray Truman, it’s been almost ten years since Ray was at a meeting. Ray does send the GGBC his best though. Also, for you newer members, Matt and Melissa Gabe were the first husband and wife team to be members of the GGBC. And, Melissa was the first member of the GGBC to have a baby while an active member of the GGBC. If you can believe it, little Aaron is four years old. Melissa says Aaron will be driving soon.
Knuckleheads of the week: BART’s unions. Now, I’m sure you’re all thinking that Pete’s a management type, so it’s only natural that he’s anti-union. But, this isn’t a statement about unions. I’m awarding BART’s unions this honor because they allowed BART management to paint them in the court of public opinion as the villains. Eighty percent of the public blame the unions for this impasse. In reality, the blame should be spread equally between the unions, BART’s management and BART’s Board. All of whom, in my humble opinion, could care less about those 400,000 daily riders. Too bad our Governor Jerry can’t pull an “Il Duce” and can the whole bunch. That’s probably the only way the trains will ever run on time.
PHOTOS BY BETTY TAISCH
PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE BY HARVEY ELAM
STRIKING A NERVE?
John Mathers’ "Anatomy of a Scam" feature hit Home for many. No single story matched that morning presentation. Everyone has their Own ONE, . or Two, . . or even more. Some from friends, . . or family, . . . or even from painfully Personal experience.
It seems we've nearly All been "Burned" (at least a bit), at some time.
After talking with several Members, I'll summarize a few observations from our common experience:
1. Even "successful" and "smart" businesspeople" get "Suckered" sometimes. (CEO's, CPA's, MBA's, JD's, . . . even Terry Cowhey?)
2. Once Burned, Twice the Fool! ("Double down" when you should "Get Out?" - Who has NOT done this at a Blackjack table? – Johnson You always has more at the ready if his first “joke” doesn’t get a laugh!)
3. "Little Fish" take the Hardest Fall: (Remember WHO goes to prison? - Have ANY Wall Street "Insiders" served ANY Time for the Greatest Guaranteed "Crash" since 1929?)
4. Government Regulators "Can't" ("There's only so much they can do." - The SEC needs Rich Coriea!)
5. Justice Costs $$$ (Investigators, Experts, Attorneys, Court Reporters . . . . with Travel and Lodging, across States . . . before Trial? . . . and then Appeal?? - After I finish presenting Hugh Tuck’s next plaintiff’s case, that Bill Buchannan will investigate, for Dennis Mandel's expert financial testimony, then the “Tuck Mansion” may have to be considered for one of JJ Panzer’s online rental listings.)
6. "If it sounds TOO Good, It IS!" (I'll credit Rickey Wilson with that timely reminder.)