PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR OUR UPCOMING GGBC EVENTS
- December 11th: Oak Dowling: Herman Goering Trial of 1946.
- December 18th: GGBC Holiday Party
THIS WEEK'S SPEAKER
OAK DOWLING: Herman Goering Trial of 1946
Mr. Dowling will discuss the Cross-Examination of the Nazi Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trial of 1946.
MEMBER NEWS BY PETE RATTO
This morning we were moved over into the Regimental Room. Jorge, in anticipation of a pretty good crowd to hear our speaker Mike Hanlon, managed to squeeze in six tables of ten giving us a total of sixty seats. And, we pretty much filled them all. Unfortunately, the tight quarters causes a problem that does not occur in either of the larger ballrooms. Although President Harvey made every effort to start right on time, with the buffet in close proximity to the dining area, there were twelve members still lined up to get their breakfast and find their seats at 7:30AM. So, President Harvey allowed five extra minutes to get everyone seated.
The table configuration prompted Dan Herling, a big guy that spends a lot of time on airplanes, to say he felt right at home sitting in the middle seat.
This will also be the last time our attendance is referenced in this column. Obviously my strategy of attempting to shame you missing members into attending a meeting by reporting dismally low attendance has failed. My new strategy will be to select a non-excused missing member and attribute Terry Cowhey’s comments to he or she. Maybe that will encourage greater attendance.
NOV MEETING PHOTOS BY BETTY TAISCH
We had six guests this morning. Betty Taisch hosted Brandon Grade who does multi-media and a bunch of other stuff that Betty’s not sure of how to explain and that most of us probably couldn’t understand anyway. Alex King brought along Chris Burns of Carrier Air Conditioning for at least the third time. Alex, hand this guy an application. Alex also excused Bill Buchanan and then introduced Bill’s guest, Jeff Herndon from the USO. J. J. Panzer hosted Karen Nemsick, the Executive Director of Rebuilding Together San Francisco. J. J. is trying to persuade Karen to join the GGBC. Although, J. J. does have an ulterior motive; if Karen becomes a member of the GGBC, she’ll have to move her Board’s monthly meeting day off Wednesday mornings and J. J. won’t have to miss a GGBC meeting once each month. John McKnight’s guest, Adrian Tirtanadi from Bayview Hunters Point Community Legal, is another returning visitor also interested in joining the GGBC. Finally, Joel Panzer hosted Catherine Accardi, who will be our speaker on January 29th. Catherine has expressed an interest in joining too! So, please on the 29th, no heckling.
Aside from Bill Buchanan’s excuse from Alex King, no other excuses for this morning were requested by the membership. I’ll issue an excuse that wasn’t requested; Patricia Fripp is in New York conducting a couple of seminars. We did receive some retro-active requests for excuses though. I will remind you all that retro-active excuses are not allowed. Jill Hoffman was in Japan for the last two weeks. Alan Jones was moving his Mom and Dad into their new home. John Mathers had a small family emergency. His new 8 pound, 1 ounce Granddaughter arrived a little early. She weighed the same at birth as her two brothers. Except her two brothers were twins. Wow, that’s 16 pounds, 2 ounces worth of babies. If Dan Negron would have kept his mouth shut, I would have thought Dan simply stretched his previously excused vacation in San Juan to a second week. Instead, Dan confessed he was in Seattle for a week at CleanScapes, a Recology subsidiary. In retrospect, Alan and John had good reasons for their absences, as we at the GGBC consider family issues paramount, and Jill is going to be President next year and I don’t want her to clamp down on the GGBC’s free press, so her excuse is allowed too. Only Negron doesn’t have enough pull to swing an excuse.
Excuses requested for the future; Hedy Kaveh’s Dad is doing much better, allowing Hedy to return to the GGBC from Iran just in time to request an excuse for the next three weeks. Hedy is taking the family to Paris for Christmas. Stan Ellexson needs next week off for his annual eye exam and Christine Torrington is heading to Whistler.
Members that have returned; Eli Hill back to breakfast after wrapping up a project for P G & E. Eli received another new member round of applause. Either this multiple new member rounds of applause is becoming a trend, or the membership has simply forgotten that a new member has already been properly welcomed. I’ll bet on the latter. Marty Mijalski happily returned from Boston where the temperature hovered around 20 degrees. Marty showed off the e-coli pattern tie his doctor daughter gave him. Coincidentally, the tie I was wearing also had an e-coli pattern. Except, I found my tie on Route #239 in the Tenderloin. In addition to e-coli there were some other virus strains on that tie I couldn’t identify.
Happier than Marty about being back in San Francisco is Hugh Tuck. It was zero degrees in Truckee this morning.
Wayne Veatch finally returned after five weeks in India. Wayne says San Francisco is so quiet, clean and orderly. Plus, there are no animals walking around the streets. Well, at least no four legged ones.
Jack Shea was back at breakfast to announce it’s thirty-one years since he joined AA.
Since Alan Garber was able to get his daughter back from Santa Barbara in time for Thanksgiving and Hanukkah, he was able to rejoin us for breakfast as well. Garber also had a semi-clean joke, approved by Steve Shain, for the membership. A teacher in front of her 4th grade class asks her students to use the word fascinate in a sentence. The first kids says “my family went to the zoo and saw the animals. It was fascinating.” The teacher says “no, I wanted the word fascinate.” The second kids says “my family went to the zoo and saw the animals and I was fascinated.” The teacher said, “that’s good, but I wanted the word fascinate”. The third kids says “my sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.”
After that joke, Roy Wonder told his bailiff Ed Flowers, that a bench warrant has been issued for Garber. Roy couldn’t stand though as Rickey Wilson’s chair was pressed hard against Roy’s keeping Roy trapped.
With Thanksgiving’s festivities behind us, The Master of Disaster, John McKnight, was back at breakfast too. John thanked carver Rich Corriea for slicing up enough turkey for Christine Torrington and Ken Brown to deliver on Thanksgiving morning. John had a joke to deliver as well. After Sunday services, a child is looking at all the flags lined up outside the church. The pastor comes out and the child asks “what are all the flags for?” The pastor replies, “in honor of all the men that fell in the service”. The child asks, “at the 10:00AM or the 11:00AM?”
After hearing these two jokes, Steve Shain said he would put off his joke until next Wednesday.
I’m surprised, given that President Harvey announced the GGBC’s new joke awards policy. Henceforth, Goldie the Chicken will be awarded for the best joke, and the rubber chicken will be awarded for the worst joke. Of course, the standards for each award have yet to be determined. So, possibly Steve showed good judgment. I think the GGBC needs to establish the Terry Cowhey Perpetual Trophy for the member that is the most un-PC. Possibly, we could get Terry bronzed and mounted?
The cold weather prompted Betty Taisch to mention that one week ago she was out on the golf course in La Quinta. Betty shot a 137, which makes her a better golfer than Mike Mustacchi. Betty also mentioned this coming Friday will be her installation as the new President of the San Francisco Association of Realtors.
Arlan Kertz is sixteen days out on the delivery of his new Tesla.
Last week after Rich Corriea mentioned he was inducted as a member of the George Washington High School Hall of Fame he was feeling pretty good about himself. Then Rich read this week’s bulletin blurb with Mike Hanlon’s Curriculum Vitae and realized he’s a failure. Then again, Rich says maybe this will inspire him to new heights. Or, as Jim Lazarus quipped, maybe it will inspire Rich to be Irish.
John Stewart realized that most of the GGBC’s other judges were all present today, and figures if they all combine their CVs, they have a shot at matching Hanlon’s.
Rickey Wilson related a story about Mike’s influence among members of the law enforcement community. Seems Mike committed some traffic offense and was pulled over off the freeway at the 7th Street ramp near the Hall of Justice. When the officer realized who he pulled over, he told Mike we’ll just have to talk for a while so anybody that sees us will think I’m giving you a ticket. Mike’s wife Yvonne was incensed that the officer wasn’t going to give Mike a ticket.
This is a job I would like to have. Jonathan Stone has a cousin who originally was a museum curator. She parlayed that experience into becoming a consultant to the movie industry verifying that everything on movie sets is authentic to the time period. Nothing makes me madder while watching a movie to see the wrong garbage collection equipment depicted for the time period.
A correction from last week’s column. Reg Young did grill his turkey on his gas grill and it didn’t result in turkey flambé this time.
With Christmas approaching Alex King reminds us the Firefighter’s Toy Program is out collecting toys. Any new, unwrapped toy will be appreciated.
Tom Jacobs had a patient that happened to be an attorney that really need a lot of cosmetic dental work. Tom says he transformed her from a two to a ten. She mentioned to Tom that she had been working on the same case for five f***ing years. Tom asked if she knew Garber. Because of the bad language or because it’s taking her five f***ing years to close a case?
Another reminder; the GGBC’s Annual Holiday Party is two weeks away. It should be a great time as always. Make sure to sign up. Regular price of $25.00 a head, but you can’t use your breakfast cards. Remember, the Holiday Party is the GGBC’s last chance to bump up our treasury to boost our end of the year donations.
We had one birthday this morning; Eric Smith. But, Eric wasn’t here to wear a hat and be serenaded by the membership.
In addition to all the positions listed on Mike Hanlon’s CV, there is one more to add. Mike is the Chairman to the GGBC’s Nominating Committee, which consists of Mike, Reg Young and myself. Since this is the first meeting in December, your slate of Officers and Board Members for 2014 was announced and voted in unanimously. For next year; President, Jill Hoffman. First Vice President, Joel Panzer. Second Vice President and Program Chairman, Mike Mustacchi. Secretary, Wayne Veatch. Treasurer, Ray Siotto. Administrative Secretary, Marty Mijalski. At large Board Members, Alan Garber, Antonio White and John Mathers.
Knuckleheads of the week; the nine individuals above who serve to run this dysfunctional club all for the princely reward of a single dinner each year.
PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE BY HARVEY ELAM
REBIRTH OF SIDNEY MOBELL’S “GOLDEN CHICKEN”
I credit Antonio White’s creative appreciation of Sidney Mobell’s latest artistic contribution "Goldie, the Golden Chicken" for this inspiration:
HENCEFORTH & HEREBY, OUR ‘’GOLDEN CHICKEN” AWARD SHALL BE GRANTED ONLY TO TELLERS OF THE BEST JOKES!
Antonio pointed out to our Board that Sidney’s maginificent “Golden Chicken” deserves more approprist recognition. (No worries for Alan Garber, Chuck Mills, Johnson You, and their many fierce fierce competitors for “WORST Joke of the week. We agreed to reserve the old “Rubber Chicken” for your weekly derision).
In the tradition of outgoing “Lame Duck” Presidents everywhere, I hereby exercise the near last of my Executive Discretion to name our Salvation Army Director of Emergency and Disaster Services, John McKnight, as the FIRST WINNER of our newly rechristened Golden Chicken Award. His surprise twist humor in concluding what started as a somber tribute to the sacrifices of our servicemembers was clean, quick, and genuinely funny!
Thank you Sidney, Antonio and John!